The One Adjustment That Worked: The Way I Conquered After-Work Tension Through an Surprising Find in the Attic

I often feel like a coiled spring after work. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Usually, closing my laptop with a thud used to lead to the squeak of a cork pulled from a bottle of red, the wine hastily sploshed into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Later, a few months ago, I discovered an old school recorder belonging to my grown son up in the loft. I idly blew into it, instantly reminded of the time when it drove me crazy – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the sharp sounds echoing in my mind long after he slept.

But rather than consigning it to the bin, I took it down, together with a beginner’s songbook. As a child, I was the least musical child ever. I took recorder classes in primary school, yet never got to try other instruments.

Googling “how to play the recorder”, I watched dozens of YouTube videos aimed at children, and printed out a fingering chart. I searched “easiest recorder tunes”, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son questioned my actions (and begged me to quit), but I kept going – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. My inability to remember anything forced me to focus on the music sheet, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breathing slowed down, my attention sharpened, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I felt euphoric. I could play an instrument.

Today, after some months, I can “play” other nursery rhymes and a passable Ode to Joy. Sure, my rhythm is off, and I must jot down note names, but for me, it’s not about skill or being a musician – it is simply about the pleasure it brings and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, but it made me a little sad and nostalgic for my own school days, and my son’s childhood.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work before I do anything else, and in those 20 or so minutes, I am in my own little world. Afterward, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends think it’s hilarious, but one very wise therapist friend told me I was not only lowering my stress levels, but improving my cognitive skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.